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Choosing Your Tribe: A Complete Guide to Selecting the Best Bridesmaids

Choosing your bridesmaids can sometimes be a stress all its own. It's important to choose people who support you fully and that you know will make planning your wedding easier and more fun. You have waited long enough to marry the person of you dreams. Make sure your tribe is a part of the community that keeps you together.

Choosing your bridesmaids is an emotional task. Some loved ones may expect you to ask them, but you shouldn't feel pressured to choose anyone you don't feel would be best suited to it. Being a bridesmaid is an honor, but above all it is a great responsibility. Choose wisely.

Bridesmaids in Sage Green Dresses

Photo: Madison Perry Photography

Here are a few tips and strategies to help you choose your bridesmaids.

1. Only Ask Those Closest to You

There is no greater joy than to have your favorite people at your side on the most memorable day of your life. You may choose to invite your siblings, relatives, or even your closest friends, but the key is to surround yourself with individuals upon whom you can truly rely. Seek out those who are capable of selflessness, and who will willingly prioritize your needs and wishes above their own. By doing so, you ensure a magical day filled with love, laughter, and the warmth of those who matter the most to you.

2. Be Clear About Your Expectations from the Start

Envision the role you want your bridesmaids to play as they support you on your special day. Consider whether you expect them to be present for various events, such as group dress fittings or intimate luncheons. Do you have a specific vision for their hairstyles and makeup? What is the price range of the dresses you'd like them to wear?

While it's natural to desire the presence of someone special or for them to be eager to be your bridesmaid, certain obstacles may arise, such as financial constraints or limited availability. In these instances, it's important to be understanding and flexible, meeting your loved ones where they are without imposing undue burdens upon them.

Remember, there are countless alternative ways to involve your dearest friends and family in your wedding celebration. The role of a bridesmaid is not the only way to include them in your cherished moments. Embrace the unique circumstances of each loved one, ensuring that your wedding day is a joyous and memorable occasion for all.

3. Choose Time Masters

When selecting your bridesmaids, it's crucial to carefully consider their personality traits and current obligations. For instance, if someone habitually arrives late to events, it's likely that they may not be punctual for your wedding either. It's vital to choose dependable loved ones who you can trust to be timely, proactive, and dedicated to your special day.

Additionally, be sensitive to the demands and responsibilities that your potential bridesmaids might already be facing. For example, if your sister is immersed in her PhD studies, the prospect of being a bridesmaid could exacerbate her stress levels. Moreover, she might feel torn between the desire to support you and the need to focus on her academic pursuits. Such a predicament could strain your relationship and impact the overall wedding planning experience.

In such cases, it may be more thoughtful to offer these loved ones alternative, less demanding roles in your wedding. This way, they can remain engaged in your celebration without being burdened by excessive expectations or responsibilities. By demonstrating empathy and understanding, you can foster stronger relationships and create a joyous, memorable occasion for everyone involved.

4. Be Mindful of Financial Responsibility

Taking on the role of a bridesmaid goes beyond merely committing your time and effort. It often entails a significant financial obligation as well. The price of bridesmaid dresses alone can range from $150-350, but this is merely the tip of the iceberg. Bridesmaids are typically expected to cover the costs of their own footwear, accessories, hairstyling, and makeup. In addition, they often contribute to the expenses associated with pre-wedding events, as well as their own travel and accommodation arrangements. As a result, the average cost of serving as a bridesmaid can amount to anywhere between $1200-1800.

When selecting your bridal party, be sensitive to the potential financial strain this may impose on your loved ones. Avoid burdening those who may struggle to afford these expenses. As you embark on your search for the perfect bridesmaid attire, make sure to explore various retailers that offer a wide range of options within your desired budget. A little research goes a long way in minimizing costs and ensuring a comfortable experience for your bridesmaids.

Lastly, provide ample time for your bridesmaids to prepare for the financial commitments. Offering reasonable timeframes allows them to plan their finances accordingly, ensuring a smoother, less stressful experience for everyone.

5. Consider the Size of Your Wedding Party

One thing has proven absolutely true throughout the entirety of my time as a wedding planner. The larger your wedding party is, the more stress you are likely to feel from wedding party related tasks. A larger party will require more of your time as well as more of your wedding budget. Smaller groups are much easier to handle across the board. Your wedding vendors will also benefit from you choosing a smaller party. On wedding day, your photographer will have an easier time with organizing a smaller wedding party for photos and your coordinator will make better time with keeping a smaller party to together.

Throughout my extensive experience as a wedding planner, I have discovered an unwavering truth: the size of your wedding party directly correlates with the level of stress you may encounter while managing wedding-related tasks. A larger wedding party demands not only a significant portion of your time but also a considerable chunk of your budget. In contrast, smaller groups are far more manageable and efficient.

Opting for a smaller wedding party not only benefits you but also your dedicated team of wedding vendors. On your special day, your photographer will be able to effortlessly capture precious moments by skillfully organizing a smaller group for photos. Similarly, your coordinator will make better time.

6. Bring Everyone Together

Once you've carefully selected your ideal wedding entourage, don't let them remain as mere acquaintances. Arrange a delightful luncheon or an intimate coffee gathering to bring everyone together. Foster an atmosphere of camaraderie and positive energy, ensuring that your bridal party develops a strong bond and eliminates any potential awkwardness. A harmonious group that genuinely enjoys each other's company is essential for a memorable experience.

Set aside a dedicated moment for an engaging ice-breaking event, held in a relaxed and inviting environment where each member of your party eagerly anticipates meeting and connecting with one another. By fostering these relationships, your bridal party will unite in their efforts to support you throughout the wedding planning process and on your special day.

A collective of friends who seamlessly work together forms the ultimate support system, providing you with the comfort and reassurance needed to make your wedding day an unforgettable experience.


In the end, the key is to maintain a sense of calm. Resist the urge to let stress consume your emotional well-being. Remember, the primary purpose of your wedding is to unite with your soulmate in a lifelong commitment of love and devotion. The ultimate objective for your bridesmaids should be to alleviate any burdens and enhance the overall joy of this momentous occasion as you embark on a new chapter together. By focusing on the love and happiness that surrounds you, it'll be an unforgettable experience for you and your partner.

Need more wedding planning advice and tips? We'd love to help! That Spark Events is a wedding planner in Charleston, SC who would love to hear from you. We plan weddings in Charleston, Savannah, Charlotte, Raleigh, and Destinations Worldwide. Inquire with us today!

Choosing your bridal party 1

Choosing your bridal party 1


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